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Entry 001
Jul. 30th, 2005 | 06:20 pm
Just before Seimei died, he left me a part of him. He told me his true name. He said he'd only ever tell me and since that day I've held that information very close to my heart. It was a very special piece of information if he'd only tell me. Seimei was always good to me. He was always protecting me. I'll never forget anything about Seimei, partly the reason I'm keeping this journal I guess. I want to remember everything from now on. With everything that I've forgotten I must at least remember that. Cher aimé, Beloved. I don't want to forget anything anymore.
Now I'm on a journey to find the murderer for my brother. Whoever it is will pay dearly. The police have given up because they found no clues as to who it was but I won't. I'll never give up, I have to find my brother and avenge him. For my memories. Seimei always told me it wasn't my fault that I lost my memories and I believe him. He was the only person who was nice to me. My mother...she says it's my fault. That I'm not Aoyagi Ritsuka. I'm just an imposter. She'd make me go to a psychiatrist every Wednesday to help recover her true son.
I'm afraid of what will happen to me once that day comes. I guess that's why I always carry a camera around with me. When that day finally comes, a part of me will always stay here. The true Aoyagi Ritsuka will get to see the person who was his placeholder before he returned. That thought is enough to settle my mind sometimes. Just for a little bit of calm. I don't want to make friends, I don't want to get attached to people because that'll make it harder for me to let Ritsuka come back. I only want to be with Seimei again, I only want to be around people who knew Seimei. Some of his friends might have clues but I have yet to meet any.
I start school tomorrow. Another troublesome thing in life that we must do.
It's a stupid place to go to. At school people are always just using each other under the false pretense of being friends. Always two groups of people. The users and the used.
Life is so boring. Maybe it'll end soon.
As long as I avenge you before it does...I'll be happy. Then Aoyagi Ritsuka...can safely return and I won't give a damn.
Now I'm on a journey to find the murderer for my brother. Whoever it is will pay dearly. The police have given up because they found no clues as to who it was but I won't. I'll never give up, I have to find my brother and avenge him. For my memories. Seimei always told me it wasn't my fault that I lost my memories and I believe him. He was the only person who was nice to me. My mother...she says it's my fault. That I'm not Aoyagi Ritsuka. I'm just an imposter. She'd make me go to a psychiatrist every Wednesday to help recover her true son.
I'm afraid of what will happen to me once that day comes. I guess that's why I always carry a camera around with me. When that day finally comes, a part of me will always stay here. The true Aoyagi Ritsuka will get to see the person who was his placeholder before he returned. That thought is enough to settle my mind sometimes. Just for a little bit of calm. I don't want to make friends, I don't want to get attached to people because that'll make it harder for me to let Ritsuka come back. I only want to be with Seimei again, I only want to be around people who knew Seimei. Some of his friends might have clues but I have yet to meet any.
I start school tomorrow. Another troublesome thing in life that we must do.
It's a stupid place to go to. At school people are always just using each other under the false pretense of being friends. Always two groups of people. The users and the used.
Life is so boring. Maybe it'll end soon.
As long as I avenge you before it does...I'll be happy. Then Aoyagi Ritsuka...can safely return and I won't give a damn.